Kennedy: With no McDonald’s or Taco Bell, Sign Mountain will become a fast-food stuff desert

Stacey C. Slagle

They’ve shut our McDonald’s on Sign Mountain. There is yellow tape across the entrance in situation you are tempted to change in by practice.

On a scale of human suffering — with 1 being a paper cut and 10 currently being unintentionally slamming your head in a automobile doorway — this is a 3 for our family members. Not terrible, but not a delighted minute possibly.

We invested a large amount of hours on that indoor playground at the mountain McDonald’s when the boys were being minor. A time or two, they disappeared into the tubes and I experienced to wedge my huge, Quarter Pounder-fed derriere in there to fish them out.

We probably visited the golden arches on Sign at least at the time a week for the past 20 yrs. A report in the Situations Free Press said the homeowners designed a company conclusion to shut down — not more than enough client site visitors, I guess.

Some say it was the hoity-toity palates of us mountain inhabitants that account for the demise of the mountain Micky D’s. As a dude who grew up on Spam, Tater Tots and pinto beans, I say “no way.” I may well be hoity, but I’m undoubtedly not toity.

What hurts is that this was the last nationwide quickly-meals cafe on the mountain. We have a Guthrie’s rooster restaurant, a Domino’s pizza takeout, a Subway sandwich store and many fantastic independent eateries, but no a lot more McNuggets — the gold common of nuggetry.

Is there any these point as a quick-foods desert? Properly if Sign is not a rapidly-foods desert, it really is at least a fast-food items sand trap.

The 37377 ZIP code — which incorporates Signal Mountain, Walden and some unincorporated spots — has a population of above 15,000. (By the way, my 13-year-son has dubbed the unincorporated areas the “uncharted territories.” He thinks it appears additional mysterious that way.)

Meanwhile, Dunlap, the nearest tiny town, has a populace of about 5,000 and still has a Sonic, a McDonald’s and a Hardee’s. If Congress wants to investigate some thing, let it investigate this!

For those of you who consider this is not serious information, a report about the Sign Mountain McDonald’s closing was a major story on the Periods Cost-free Push web page just one working day earlier this month. Speedy food items is significant business. The announced opening of a Rooster Salad Chick cafe on Sign, meanwhile, was also a top net story. And so was the follow-up story a handful of days later that essentially mentioned, “Psyche!”

I have a buddy who desires of opening a Chick-fil-A on Sign Mountain. He thinks it would be a license to print cash. I explained to him you could open a Chick-fil-A at the base of the ocean and it would be busy 24/6. If you opened a Chick-fil-A on Sign, people today would die in a stampede.

When I 1st moved to the mountain practically 30 yrs back, there was a Hardee’s and Taco Bell, too. The Hardee’s grew to become a lender, and the Taco Bell turned, very well, it grew to become an empty building with tall grass for prolonged stretches of time.

I was a patron of all 3 speedy-foods places to eat. My go-tos ended up steak and biscuit from Hardee’s, rooster tacos from Taco Bell and Quarter Pounders with cheese from McDonald’s.

Our youthful son is so addicted to Taco Bell chicken quesadillas that I once in a while have to generate all the way to Purple Lender and back again, about a 40-minute spherical trip from our property, just to fulfill his cravings.

My older son, in the meantime, was a McDonald’s double-cheeseburger fiend. As soon as, when he gained a countywide cross-state race in 3rd quality, a person asked me what we fed him.

“Double cheeseburgers and Skittles,” I reported proudly.

To everyone who miracles if quickly foodstuff ruined our boys’ well being, I just viewed our more youthful son operate 13 consecutive 200-property dashes at soccer instruction with only a few of deep breaths in amongst. Meanwhile, our older son, a freshman in college or university, could run a mile in a smidge above 5 minutes in higher faculty.

Now, I have to burn up a gallon of gas to get to rapid meals. Y’all, I am sitting at house proper now, finding the tremors for tacos and the shakes for shakes.

What is wrong with this state?

Email Mark Kennedy at

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Mark Kennedy / Employees file photograph


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